kidzbop is gonna be like “my anaconda don’t want none unless u like fun, hun!!”

"oh my gosh. look at her heart!"

2 weeks ago // 154,090 notes


phone calls are the most terrifying thing in the world

2 weeks ago // 517,701 notes
I need a nap and an orgasm. An Ancient Proverb, probably (via thegreatmadman)

2 weeks ago // 58,214 notes



team 5’5 and under where ya at

they didn’t let us in they thought we were 12

(Source: blackfemalepresident)

2 weeks ago // 551,324 notes
Sometimes, saying “Goodbye” is like saying “Let’s stop hurting each other”. (via laceypanty)

(Source: ispeakquotes.com)

2 weeks ago // 36,776 notes


When your pet adjusts their position so they can lay their head on you


2 weeks ago // 416,965 notes


I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great

3 weeks ago // 294,595 notes